A day in a life with Depression

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Depression is not a bad mood and something you decide to feel and suffer with.

Depression is not something that you recognize straight away like Flu or something you can treat with a hot cup of tea with honey.

Depression doesn’t last 2-3 days like Stomach Bug and comes in different kind of forms.

Depression doesn’t necessarily “attack” those who have a bad life and doesn’t pick your age, sex, nationality etc.  (That’s some equality there!)

Depression doesn’t let you know how to treat it but always makes sure to tell you how to make it worse.

So what is a day in a life with Depression?

It’s waking up in the morning and not wanting to get up.  A very common feeling you say?

Well, waking up with Depression is forcing yourself to get up and do your daily things such as work, college or simply staying at home (that can be hard too).

Living with Depression is thinking if there is any point of taking a shower and making yourself look pretty (or at least “presentable”) and wishing you could just stay in bed hiding under the covers all the time.

In fact, some people give up on their personal hygiene when they are suffering with Depression because they don’t see any reason to look after themselves anymore.

Depression goes anywhere you go and stands behind you at all times like an invisible shadow that no one else can see but you.

Living with it is trying to smile when you feel the tears coming and hiding your shivering body when you feel like having a panic attack in public.

It’s feeling hopeless when being mistaken for being in a bad mood and cranky and hating yourself at the same time for making people feel that you are somehow annoyed with them.

It’s CONSTANTLY doubting yourself and believing that whatever you are doing will only go wrong and once again listening to Depression telling you how useless and brainless you are.

It’s looking in the mirror and hating what you see and wishing you could  just have a different life.

Living with Depression is feeling too weak to do simple things such as making yourself food or brushing your teeth and not finding any enthusiasm to do anything at all.

It’s trying your best to speak out loud about your Depression but being stopped by a tingling pain in your throat and the lack of the right words to describe it.

It’s living in fears and playing them in your head on repeat and letting all of your problems to grow bigger than they are.

Living with Depression is believing that you are only alive for your family and sadly, in some cases trying to find at least one reason to stay alive.

It’s feeling lonely in a crowd full of people and staying silent when you scream inside for help.

While it doesn’t mean that a person suffering with Depression feels like this all the time, there are times when all of the feelings described above can occur in one day at the same time (yes, that’s possible and pretty nasty).

Some people might feel like this only once a week or so while other people might live like this for years.

But the good news is that Depression can be treated just like any other illness.

While I don’t believe in medication and Antidepressants as in my opinion they don’t solve any problems, only “numbs” your brain and stops you from thinking about anything, I do understand that in some cases medication is necessary and sometimes the only treatment that helps.

In my case, Antidepressants were making me feel like Walking Dead and once the brain numbness wore off I was thrown back in a pile of my problems and fears that were causing my Depression in the first place.

In my opinion and my opinion only, the best treatment for Depression is talking about it, the right support and understanding your emotions and fears.

Sometimes the thoughts that come out of our Depression sound completely differently when we say them out loud.

Once we understand where our fears are coming from and why, we can then overcome them.  Counselling is one of the best ways to do that.

And once we have the right support, be it people dealing with the same issues online, your best friends, spouses or anyone – we can get rid of Depression for good.

And it doesn’t matter where you are, support is always there.

We just have to find all the strength we have and ask for it.

I always reply to ANYONE reaching out to me for help and at the same time I reach out for help too when I need it.  With 7 billion people in the world no one should ever suffer with Depression on their own.

“There is no point treating a depressed person as though she were just feeling sad, saying, ‘There now, hang on, you’ll get over it.’ Sadness is more or less like a head cold- with patience, it passes. Depression is like cancer.” – Barbara Kingsolver, The Bean Trees

 


 

Photo source – http://www.m.webmd.com/depression/ss/slideshow-depression-support

 

 

11 thoughts on “A day in a life with Depression

  1. thanks for encouraging words and creating awareness on how depression feels like, I do experience the same feeling but term it as socia anxiety. does social anxiety and depression works together? thenks for the good work you are doing.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for your comment Stephen.
      To my own knowledge, 85% people suffering with Depression are also effected by Anxiety.
      Even though two of them are very the same, there are some slight differences. It is said that Anxiety is more like living in fear where Depression is more like a feeling of hopeless and emptiness. But I am no expert.
      Thank you for taking your time to read my blog

      Like

  2. This made me so emotional, I’m fighting back tears now. It reads like someone took all the words and feelings, symptoms and experiences and put into words what I’ve only once vocalised to a counsellor. Antidepressants didn’t do anything for me or rather every time I was prescribed I’d be issued the same thing, after that cursory look from my GP. An advocate for ending the stigma and reaching out, in contrast I find this the most difficult to practice as I gently encourage (rather than preach) as sharing has left me stunned at people’s opinions and reactions. Reading what others are going through their own situation helps enormously, my own version of self healing. Thank you for the post. I wish all the best and a virtual hug should you need xx

    Liked by 1 person

  3. This started off witj the best definitions of Depression and so many examples are true from getting up in the morning, taking a shower, feeling alone in the crowd. Practically every example I’ve had M.
    I would always say I’m very fond of you and I consider you a friend, but I can’t agree with you on medication. You may have felt “numbed” or “The Walking Dead@ (which I think is a TV programme?!)
    Everybody is different. There are so many people who need a “crutch” and then Monika there is Bipolar where meds are required, but it’s a subject not to pursue further because I read the whole beginning again and such a good discription on depression and an incredibly kind offer to help 7 million people!! Well done and, yes psychology and talking and working through problems is also very important frequently, so I agree with again there too!
    A

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Aidan. As I said before it is my opinion only and that I do understand that in some cases medication is necessary.
      As I am no expert I write my Blog from my perspective and according to my experience only and as you said – everyone is different so my Blog cant agree with everyone.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Great post. You’re right that depression isn’t something that you can recognise straight away. I suffered for over ten years without knowing what was wrong with me. And even now despite me being a lot better at spotting rogue thoughts, they still sometimes slip by me. Despression tries to hide itself as much as possible and pass itself off as everyday normal thoughts. But they’re not.

    Thanks for sharing this.

    Liked by 1 person

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